i'm made be He, despised by They

It was new to Earth C.

Some said it was a holdover from the Game, that Skaia had one more trick up her sleeve. Some claimed that it was a result of mixing all the different species together for the first time, that someone brought a disease from their home planet, or their pheromones were harmful to the others. But it seemed like all the species — save consorts — on Earth C were capable of contracting this disease they called "Hanahaki."

June knew it was just another way that life happened after SBURB. She'd given up trying to argue with Paradox Space long before the first petal escaped anyone's lips. When she heard the reports, that there were those for whom heartbreak or longing was so bad that they began to suffocate, she hardly even shrugged. Nothing could surprise or shock her at that point, even spontaneous neurochemically induced roses growing in the lungs of the unrequited lovers of the planet.

That's just life after the Game. That was just how Bilious Slick and the Horrorterrors and anyone else who watches over the inhabitants of this (or any) universe had to change things to get their rocks off. No matter how hard it is to make it happen, no matter who's still alive and who's dead, it's all the same. The universe wants to see its inhabitants in pain.

June had enough pain to last a lifetime. She didn't need the risk of coughing up flowers, of thorns ripping at her vocal chords as she choked on stems. She definitely had no use for chunks of her lungs splattering the kitchen floor as she sobbed about some girl. She stayed away from love and any potential for it.

Who had the time anyway?

There was always something important that needed taking care of in the consort kingdom. Some salamander who'd lost her father, or an alligator with a tooth loose. Sure, June does it all these days. Private detective, comedian, dentist. But at the end of the day, she's married to her job as the Heir, and that's that.

Until the sky ripped open and Terezi fell out of its gaping maw.

For six years, June had texted Terezi at every possible moment. Long strings of messages, received either seconds or weeks apart. It had been impossible to tell when or if Terezi got all the messages. Some went unanswered for weeks; some forever. But for a few minutes every few months, they'd have a real chat. Live. She treasured every moment of those conversations. She felt like a person, someone who people cared for, someone who cared for other people. In a literal sense again, not just in her role as the goddess of the wind. And then it'd end. Paradox Space, the Outer Ring, whoever or whatever was choosing to make the texts cross the divide of universes, would cut them off.

June believed in the sentience of the universe, most certainly. Paradox Space spoke to her, not in words, not aloud, but in quiet whispers, in signs. When something unexplained happened, when her day went to shit, that was whatever god represented Paradox Space. She liked to imagine it as a squiddle-headed cthulu. Not that it mattered. Not that anything mattered.

Being a god was hard and thankless. Being a god who recognized and accepted that there were gods above you was even harder.

Terezi made it easier. She knew what she was doing, she had a mission, and June had always envied that. Had always known that she could never be as driven as Terezi was in finding Vriska. She was sitting around, moping, feeling bad for herself and like no one else could ever understand what she's going through.

Terezi didn't understand, but she didn't pretend to either. In their conversations, she had been so focused on not discussing her problems that she was happily distracted by whatever June had going on.

When June had come out, even, that was thrilling to Terezi. It seemed that any distraction from the emptiness of the Outer Ring, from the void that only increased from the time they didn't defeat Lord English, from her boredom. She appreciated that - how not-weird it was for Terezi. It's not that the others thought it was weird, either, but. Well, it's different being best friends with a guy as a woman than it is as a man, even if he's gayer than a three Dollar bill, in his own words.

So, Terezi coming back to Earth C — or rather, coming for the first time — was one of the first things that got June out of the Consort Kingdom in a long while. She had to make sure Terezi knew the right things about Earth C, and wasn't corrupted into the political sector like the rest of their friends would want her to be.

Or ending up on one of Jake's weird TV shows doing interpretitve wrestling about her experience chasing down Vriska. That's something June could see happening in the insanity that is Earth C entertainment. They really never made any good movies on this planet, and that hurts almost more than how lonely June was before Terezi came back.

Terezi visited June at home on her second day back. That's how June even found out she'd arrived: she didn't text or call, just showed up on her front doorstep, let herself in. It gave her a shock to be standing in her nightshirt and shorts with her long-lost friend walked into her kitchen.

Terezi: YOU LOOK L1K3 SH1T.

June couldn't respond at first. It wasn't exactly the random insult, that was expected. Or as expected as it could have been considering how unexpected the whole situation was. So she just gaped.

Terezi: WOW, TH3Y TOLD M3 YOU H4DNT B33N SOC14L, BUT 1 H4D NO 1D34 YOU FORGOT HOW TO SP34K FROM YOUR 1SOL4T1ON.

June shook her head, laughed. When the world throws a curveball, all that can be done is to laugh. DAD taught her that as a child.

June: i can talk, idiot. i'm just in shock! where's vriska? you came back cus you found her, right?

Terezi took a deep breath.

Terezi: NO.

June: no?

Terezi: NO. 1 DONT KNOW HOW 1 C4M3 B4CK. ON3 MOM3NT 1 W4S S34RCH1NG FOR H3R 4ND TH3 N3XT…1M H3R3. 1 H4D TO COM3 S33 YOUR DORKY 4SS.

June: my ass is not dorky. only my face. haha. but i'm glad you're here.

It was getting lonely, she left out. Despite herself, despite the heavy subject matter of Vriska being lost forever, a smile wound its way onto June's face. She had missed Terezi, even if she wouldn't admit it. Even if Terezi was kind of rude. It was a funny rude. It reminded her of old times, when she was just a kid without the literal weight of the world on her shoulders.

Sometimes she considered zapping back to Earth beta and never coming back. The grass is always greener, they used to say, but on Earth C, the grass was too green, the sky too blue. She missed normalcy, and she could never find a new normal on Earth C. There wasn't anywhere left for her after SBURB.

They spent the evening together. Laughs, smiles, cackles, terrible Earth C SBAHJ movies funded by Dave. June noticed things in Terezi that she'd never seen before. The way she tilted her head back when she laughed, how she'd laugh the hardest at her own "jokes." How it mattered less what beverage June poured her, and more what color glass she was given.

June even snuck upstairs to alchemize a whole new set of glasses, one for each color of the rainbow. She replaced them every time she refilled Terezi's water, and Terezi hardly noticed she was only drinking water all evening.

The way her lips curled up into that cheeky smile, all for June, was spectacular. It felt good having a friend again.

The next few weeks consisted of various outings. Actual outings: June hadn't done that in a long time. They didn't leave the Consort Kingdom, but when one of the salamanders would end up asking for help blowing the biggest bubble of all time, June wouldn't give in. Terezi would flash that smile, all her teeth and her weird long troll tongue would slip out as she yelled that the Heir isn't the Servant. Her eyes would light up, and her hair fell in just the right places. They'd hold hands, and Terezi would be creeped out by how soft June's were compared to her tough troll skin. She'd make fun of June's nails, chewed down to the quick with no nail polish.

June would reply that Terezi has no nail polish either because she eats it off every time. And the two of them would laugh. It was freeing, sitting or walking with this beautiful woman that she had gone through so much with; her alternate universe self had saved June, had saved everyone. She hadn't felt this connected to another in…ever, probably.

June found herself with a cold at the end of the next month, after seeing Terezi nearly every other day and finding something new to do together. She called her that night.

June: you got me sick from all the excitement this past month. i knew i never should have trusted you to take me to the north pole! there weren't even elves there, jerk!

Terezi: M4YB3 YOU JUST N33D TO G3T S1CK TO F1X YOUR SYST3M. HAVEN'T YOU B33N STUCK 4T HOM3 FOR L1K3 S1X YEARS? 4NY DUMMY WOULD G3T S1CK 4FT3R GO1NG OUT 4FT3R 4LL TH4T T1M3.

June: you weren't out in the earth c weather all that time, either! how come you didn't get sick? did you make me sick when we...smooched?

Terezi: PL34S3 3GB3RT, TROLL 4N4TOMY 1S BU1LT TO W1THST4ND 4NYTH1NG. 1F A S1MPL3 P4THOG3N TOOK YOU OUT ON 4LT3RN1A, YOU WERE B3TT3R OFF D34D. M4YB3 TH4T WOULD B3 B3ST FOR YOU H3R3, TOO. 4 L1TTL3 B4CT3R1A 4ND YOU C4NT 3V3N BR34TH3 PROP3RLY? 1TS P4TH3T1C. DONT BL4M3 M3 FOR TH4T.

June: trolls aren't all you guys crack yourselves up to be, you know.

June: whatever, i'm just gonna cough all over your face tomorrow so you get sick too. in case you didn't give it to me. but you did. that'll show you.

Terezi: OH YOU W4NT TO G3T TH4T CLOS3 TO MY F4C3? WHY? 4R3 YOU 4 P3RV? D1SGUST1NG, 3GB3RT. D1SGUST1NG.

Their conversation was cut short by a coughing fit, June preferring to hang up than make Terezi listen to it. Plus, for some reason, that sentence made her head hurt.

Disgusting perv, she'd been called.

The first petal came out the next morning. A bright red rose, although how much of that was staining from her circulatory system, June wasn't sure. Maybe if she washed it off, it'd be white. She wasn't sure why this was going through her mind. She'd developed hanahaki.

The scariest part was that the reason for it? She didn't know. Well, she tried not to know.

It's not like she wasn't aware of how beautiful Terezi was. And, face it, it couldn't have been anyone but Terezi. But she wasn't…in love with Terezi. That was strictly off limits. It was Terezi, for gog's sake. Both Karkat and Dave would have a meltdown, and then they'd go home and probably have sloppy angry makeouts over it.

Ew. She appreciated the distraction from her own thoughts of death and love, but ew.

She shook her head, before being wracked by a coughing fit. That time, it was a single thorn, scratching its way up from her lungs. It stabbed into her lip as she tried to clear it from her airway, gasping for breath, tears forming in her eyes.

No, it couldn't be Terezi. They'd kissed just before June got that first cough. She'd felt nothing. Terezi had said nothing. It was nothing.

Who then? Had their conversations about Vriska made her realize some unknown feelings, long repressed from her teenagehood trying to be a straight boy?

No, she had already searched her heart many times over this, there was still nothing there. Maybe there could have been something, in another timeline. But she wasn't ever in love with Vriska.

Even the memories of Vriska are, at this point, overshadowed by Terezi's role in them. The way her claws were digging into June's skin while they had the conversation about Vriska, sitting under a tree. How her tears had stained June's thumb after she wiped them off; the way June had laughed uncontrollably when Terezi swatted that same hand away and left a raised scratch. She had two hands with Terezi's marks on them, and her heart had clenched when they finally healed and disappeared.

Maybe she is in love with Terezi.

But then, surely Terezi felt the same way?

If she did…where did this rose come from?

Paradox Space was once again playing tricks on its most humble servant, despite everything she had done to save it.

She began in that moment to hate Paradox Space and love herself. This was a new arrangement for the three — two — of them.

She deteriorated quickly. Sure, she'd seen this in movies, PSAs about the dangers of love on Earth C, she heard through through the grapevine that even Jade, Witch of Space, had been through this before.

But she wasn't sure if it was supposed to be as quickly debilitating as it was.

She didn't call back Terezi. She actually dodged her calls for a few days until Terezi showed up, once again, inside her house. She was ready this time, though. She had known the whole time it was likely she'd be unable to avoid Terezi. June Egbert may be a clown-at-heart but she's no fool. She covered her mouth the moment Terezi showed up.

June: i'm sick, stay away.

Like that'd work. She faked a (regular, non-flower-filled) cough for good measure. Cough. Cough. Terezi just stared at her.

Terezi: D1D 1 NOT T3LL YOU TH4T W3 L1T3R4LLY C4NNOT GET THE S4M3 S1CKN3SS3S?

June: uh…i have the super flu. super contagious. super bug. even trolls can get it. yeah. that.

Is she stupid? The question remains to be answered, but June is leaning toward yes, she is incredibly stupid for saying that.

Terezi: YOUR3 4 B4D L14R

June: you’re right.

Terezi: SO? WH4T 1S 1T?

June: it’s nothing.

She wasn’t sure why she was lying. There was nothing to really gain from being cagey here, but she couldn’t help it. How could she tell her? The mere fact that the flowers were growing in her lungs said all she needed to know about the situation.

A coughing fit began to wrack her body. She bent down, the softness of her chest constricting and aching. It was violent, shaking her body, her shoulders heaving while she hacked.

Then, the rose finally lodged itself free, the tip of the bud coming out of her mouth first. Each cough sent a bit of blood spattering to the floor; she had given up trying to cover her mouth. Her hands braced herself against the floor as she tried to avoid crumpling.

Terezi watched. This was one of the first times June had seen her not smiling since the first time they spoke of Vriska, the last time she had broken into June’s home. She just stared, and behind her sunglasses, through peeks stolen between hacking coughs, June couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

Each cough dislodged a little bit more of the stem. It came out covered in blood, and her throat was raw from the thorns. There was one still stuck in the roof of her mouth, and she had to dig it out. The blood got everywhere. It came out in globs at first, but then ran down her face, dripping from her mouth. She tasted the copper, it overwhelmed her nasal passages, and as she held out the flower in one hand, she just cried. There was no need to say what it was, who it was for. Even in the short period of time Terezi had been on Earth C, she’d learned about hanahaki disease.

She surely knew that the only way for her to save June would be to accept the rose. That it was incredibly close to blooming, and at that point, it’d be too late.

So why wasn’t she reaching out and taking it?

Terezi: TH4TS NOT FOR M3

Between coughs, choking.

June: it is. it’s only for you.

Terezi: JUN3.

Terezi: MY F33LINGS FOR YOU 4R3 P1TCH.

Terezi had pitch feelings for her. Terezi hated her. Terezi couldn’t return her affections, because she felt no love.

The fact that she was attracted to June made no difference. Not in her heart, not in her aching wheezing chest. She was hated.

And she was going to die if that didn’t change.

It took a month for the rose to bloom in her chest. Terezi visited every day. June wished she hadn’t, to her last moment she wished Terezi would have stayed away, but she knew that she never could have. This was her fault after all.

On the last day, as June coughed and hacked and finally, finally, finally a fully open flower made its way out of her mouth, Terezi watched. Something in her changed. All her hatred, the annoyance she felt from June’s goofy jokes and her inability to understand nuance, it all faded.

Finally, seeing her like that, splayed out on her bed, her heart shifted to pity. The rose that finally suffocated her, spelled her demise at Terezi’s own hands, stared up at her. It was just as empty as June now was.

A death for love is always Heroic, but living after killing someone you now wanted desperately to love?

There was nothing Just about that.